Happy Birthday
by howimetneilpatrickharris
Summary: One-shot / Barney Stinson's birthday


He couldn't sleep the night before. Most people grow out of it, being excited about their birthday, but Barney Stinson wasn't most people. He'd tossed and turned all night, getting half an hour here and there and then being wide awake for two. Sat up in the bed and grinning (if not yawning) like an idiot, he waited impatiently for 7AM to hit, before immediately dialling Robin's phone number.

"Hello?" She answered, decidedly irritably.

"Hey!" He exclaimed, his tone giving away the grin plastered on his face.

"Whoa, okay, it's early. Far too early for you to be this happy. Did you need something? I'm getting ready for work." Barney's face fell.

"Uh, no, it's nothing. I'll see you later."

"Actually, you probably won't. I have this work thing, it's annoying but I have to go." She sighed.

"No worries, have a good time, okay?" He hung up before she had the chance to grace him with another disappointing response. He threw his phone down on the bed next to him, shoving the covers around arbitrarily as he ran a hand through his already unkempt hair. After that anticlimax, he wanted more than anything to catch up on all the sleep he'd missed in the last eight hours. But, as his alarm wailed, he knew that wouldn't be an option. He kicked back the covers, revealing his black boxers, and climbed out of the bed. He arched his back, stretching every muscle he could, and then made for the bathroom. Barney stared disapprovingly at his reflection, feeling his age for the first time in years. Appearing to test his fake smile, he slipped out of his underwear and climbed into the shower.

* * *

Having finished brushing his teeth, Barney wrapped one towel around his waist and draped another around his neck, as his phone started ringing from the bedroom. As he moved - faster than he'd care to admit - back to the bedroom, hope rose inside him and his stomach did somersaults, though his immediate reaction was to suppress it. He flipped the phone over on the mattress, revealing 'Mom' at the top of the screen. He smiled warmly.

"Hey, Mom." He said expectantly.

"Hi, Barney. This is going to sound strange, but have you heard from James?" If he wanted to suppress it, that pretty much did the trick.

"No, I haven't. Listen, Mom, I have to go." Just as he had with Robin, he hung up. Having dried his hair, he dropped both towels and went to find something to wear. He cracked a smile as he made a mental joke about wearing a 'birthday suit' on such a day, before opting for a light grey three-piece with a crisp white shirt, and a black tie. He laced his shoes and sprayed some cologne, and fastened his watch around his wrist. Slipping straight into 'corporate Barney' mode as he buttoned up the vest, he grabbed his phone, keys, and wallet, and left the apartment.

* * *

Work was much the same as his morning had been, in that not a single person had a clue. Everybody he walked past seemed not to even acknowledge him being there, let alone the significance of the day. In every meeting, every comment he made was dismissed. Every time somebody came into his office, they left a dossier on the desk and left again. Still, his eyes lit up at the sight of Marshall opening his door.

"Hey." He smiled, dropping his pen.

"Hey, man. Listen, me and Ted are having this movie marathon tonight, if you wanna join us?"

"Isn't there anything better we could be doing?" He sniggered despite himself.

"Better than Star Wars? I doubt it. Come on, man, it'll be great!" Marshall tried, unable to fully contain his excitement as he started to bounce where he stood.

"No, no I think I'm good, actually. You guys enjoy yourselves." Barney snapped, picking the pen up again.

"Everything okay, man?" Marshall questioned, frowning slightly.

"Right as rain."

"Barney?"

"It's nothing. It doesn't matter. " He shook his head, _it never had_.

"Alright." Marshall shrugged. "See you at lunch?"

"Maybe. Bye." Marshall silently closed the door, leaving Barney alone again.

* * *

By the time lunch rolled around, Barney needed more than anything to get out of the office. The second it hit 12 o'clock, Barney was gone, leaving everything out on his desk. He moved quickly out of the building, and even faster through the streets, marching resolutely straight towards MacLaren's. Problem was, that brought only more disappointment, in the form of a messy scrawl on a piece of paper taped to the door: "closed for lunch, private function". Doing his best to resist the urge to scream, he clenched his jaw and slammed his hand on the door, before marching in the opposite direction. At that point, he didn't care where it came from, he just needed a drink, a simple fact that lead him straight into the nearest bar. He was met by perhaps the friendliest looking man he'd ever met, and was drawn towards the bar.

"What can I get for you?" The man beamed as Barney took a seat, evoking a slight smile from the desolate blonde man.

"Scotch on the rocks. Thanks."

"You're sounding a little down in the dumps." The man frowned, dropping some ice cubes into the bottom of a tumbler.

"It's my birthday." Barney said softly, his fingers fumbling with the paper coaster on the bar.

"In which case, this is on the house," The man smiled, setting the glass down in front of him. "And you should be smiling." He finished, raising an eyebrow. Barney nodded.

"Thank you. I know, just doesn't really feel like it." He took a sip, treasuring the feeling of the liquid trickling down his throat. Barney felt eight years old again, and yet somehow very different. He struggled to decide what was worse: nobody showing up, or nobody remembering. The only conclusion he could draw was that he needed another mouthful of scotch.

* * *

It was reaching 7 by the time that Barney made it home, and by then it came as no surprise that he hadn't got a card in the mail either. He stared at the walls of his apartment only briefly before knowing he'd be doing it all night. Accepting his fate, he shed his jacket and collapsed onto the couch, draping his arms over his face. He couldn't have been laying there for any more than twenty minutes before his phone wailed from the coffee table. Glancing briefly at the caller ID, he cleared his throat before answering.

"Go for Barney." He said, with far less vitality than he'd aimed for.

"Hey, I'm outside. Let me up." Lily's voice echoed through the receiver. Confused, Barney obliged, opening the door and waiting for her to step out of the elevator.

"Hey." He said, as the doors opened.

"Hey," She stepped into the apartment. "I was going to see if you were busy but you sound tired."

"I'm fine, what's up?" He always had been a good liar.

"Do you want to go to MacLaren's?" She offered.

"Not really."

"Come on! We're the only ones free. I can't sit through Star Wars again!" She begged. Barney sighed.

"First of all," He pointedly held his index finger up in front of her. "You should count yourself lucky to be in the presence of any copy of one of those movies. Secondly, I'll come, but only for an hour."

"Two?" She bargained. Barney rolled his eyes.

"One and a half. Come on." He gestured to the door with his head, slipping into his suit jacket.

* * *

Lily did her best to hide her smirk as the two approached the bar, being sure to let Barney walk in front of her. The sign had gone, and upon opening the door Barney realised that the lights were dimmed and nobody was speaking. He stepped in, and was met by a chorus of one word.

"SURPRISE!" The lights went up, revealing everybody that he'd walked past, had a disappointing conversation with, or not received a card from since the morning, raising a full champagne glass and doing their best not to spill it while they clapped. Barney's face erupted into the biggest grin he could muster, as the music blared and people returned to their dancing and own conversations.

"Happy birthday!" Robin beamed, both arms in the air as she moved towards him. Barney's expression softened as he pulled her in for a hug, his face buried in her shoulder. She squeezed him tight, as Lily laid a hand on his back.

"Thank you." He muttered into her ear, before kissing her passionately. It wasn't until he pulled away that she saw the tears in the bottom of his eyes.

"Why are you crying?!" She asked frantically, handing her glass to Marshall before running her thumbs under his eyes. "Don't be sad!" He shook his head, one of Robin's hands still on his cheek.

"I'm not sad," He explained, laying his hand on hers. "I'm happy." He added simply.

"That doesn't mean you're allowed to cry!" She laughed, wiping a few more stray tears. He had meant to laugh along with her, but it came out as more of a sob. "Oh, come here." She pulled him in again until she noticed Loretta approaching them. "Hey, your mom's here." She whispered. Barney looked up, his eyes rimmed red, and leapt onto her.

"Happy birthday, honey." She said quietly, rubbing his back. He kissed her cheek and then pulled away, as Robin laid her hand on the small of his back. "You finally got your birthday party, and everybody came." Loretta smiled warmly, tears filling her own eyes. Barney nodded resolutely, wiping his own eyes and then his mom's.

"I'm sorry we had to lie to you, man." Ted smirked, shaking his head in apparent despair.

"You had the easy way out, you didn't even talk to me today." Barney laughed. "It's a miracle that you managed not to say anything." He added, gesturing to Lily with a mischievous grin.

"It was for a good cause, plus everybody else in the room knew, it was only a secret to you." Lily grinned back, her eyebrows raised. Barney shrugged, knowing she was right, as a massively excited Eli ran towards him. Barney gasped playfully as he crouched down, letting Eli run straight into his arms. He placed him on his hip, and was met by a high-pitched and incredibly loud 'happy birthday'.

"Thank you, baby!" Barney replied, kissing his cheek as James and Tom joined them. Seeing Barney surrounded by the eight people he loved most in the world, Marshall handed Robin's glass back to her, and encouraged everybody else in the unintentionally formed circle to raise theirs.

"A toast, to the eternally young, eternally legendary, Barney Stinson."


End file.
